Chasing Elodie

This is ridiculous. A girl that I used to email many, many years ago, about ten years to be exact has been haunting my mind the past month or two. We were only friends, at best. Then her email address became unreachable. So ten years pass, and I never tried to get in touch.

All of a sudden this past month, I've sent out 50-75 messages on Facebook to all the women named Elodie. It's unfortunate that I am unable to hunt based on the location, which would be France, but c'est la vie. There also have been messages sent via other social networking websites ... maybe one of them will eventually find her. Or maybe this post will help!

So the big question is: why am I doing this? Am I really that desperately wanting some female companionship? It's probably no secret that I am desperately wanting female companionship. And certainly, this is half of the desire behind hunting for her - to just see what happens.

There is also a woman who invades my dreams, calling to me as my soul mate, my anam cara .. in that world, she is called Nikarik ... or that is as close as I can make out the name from the phonetics I know. She is dark haired, blue eyed, pale yet healthy skinned. Kind, compassionate, caring, not expecting anything of me but to love her. Supportive, and able to converse with me, which is difficult. hah!

Yes, she is a dream, literally. But figuratively as well. It keeps me going, thinking that I will not be alone in life. And in fact, in my mind, I am not alone. There is that special companion that makes me whole.

Does this make me crazy? Oh yes, without a doubt. But it's also how I manage through life, causing no harm to others.

We all kind of live in our own worlds, worlds that exist only in our minds. It is a great thing. This is how we deal with realities that can be extremely difficult to deal with, providing us with hope and vision. These worlds perhaps even develop into a goal for us, their development a desire we wish to accomplish, a piece of us we leave behind in a fleeting life. And none of that is bad, so long as we are harming nothing else ...

So, I will continue chasing my Elodie. Someday, perhaps I will find her, and will be the right man for her from the lessons learned during the chase.